I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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