I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
