At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
