she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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