This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize