if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
