I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
the day after is always just damage control
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
