Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize