Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
