Four minutes until I can fart!
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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