I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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