hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
