I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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