fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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