Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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