What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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