Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
