Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
