just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
