im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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