I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize