well you can't waste a boner
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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