i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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