I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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