Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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