Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
should my penis look like a turkey
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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