There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just found puke in my bra..
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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