im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
