Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
