I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
