You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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