It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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