She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
