the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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