I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
