You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
