The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
