Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
