i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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