there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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