Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
