I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
