so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize