So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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