The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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