one two three fourrrrnication!
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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