no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
