Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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