i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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