We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
