i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
