..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
