Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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