I heard we made out
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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