Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
