you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
