Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
