well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
